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Cameltoe Female Singers
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Junior Mafia Toe
Toe Factor: 10 (this is strong... to very strong)
Seen: Getting robbed at JFK
Lil’ Kim is far too talented to continue to rely on her trashy image. Her early work with Biggie Smalls was legendary ("Get Money" is a classic....own it). And after Biggie got capped, many predicted Kim’s demise. But she is still topping the charts. The best song of the summer is "Magic Stick", a collabo with her and 50 Cent (my record company buddy uses the term "collabo", so I thought I would try it out...did I sound cool?). Other Hip Hop Hotties like Eve will take their style from hood rat to classy once the album goes gold. But not Kim. She takes every opportunity to display the goods. And God Bless Her. She got robbed at JFK a few weeks ago, and it appears they stole her underwear and pubes in addition to her jewels.
Kylie MiTOEgue
Toe Factor: 3 (photo looks like it has been altered)
# of Lip Enhancing Surgeries: 5
Kylie Minogue is a superstar in Australia and Europe. But Americans have never seemed to give a damn. Why have we Americans embraced chumps like Men at Work, Russell Crowe (the poetry-reciting brat) and Paul Hogan while remaining indifferent to this little strumpet? And dont say it is because her music sucks, even though it does. Britney’s music sucks. Lenny Kravitz’ music sucks. But they are sexy people. But back to Kylie...My friend met her at a party, and says she is so short that she can’t ride most of the rollercoasters at Six Flags. I admire short people that become successful. Van Damme, Herve Villechaize, Robert Reich. In fact Reich is now running for Governor.
Cher-a-Toe
Toe Factor: 8
Seen: Aspen, Rodeo Drive, seeking "life after love".
It looks like she's got a Sheraton Hotel in her Toe! Many have queried as to why Sonny was first interested in Cher..that was, after all, before she had any plastic surgery and her face looked like some of Picasso's cubist work. Here's a theory: at 4'6" Sonny was at the perfect height to scrutinize, appreciate and ultimately fall in love with her Toe. And, as we all know, that is the purest and most enduring kind of love. That is, until the variety show is cancelled and your wife starts allowing Greg Allman to snort cocaine off the small of her back. Anyway, her Toe (and the body and voice attached to it) have had hits in four different decades and has acted wonderfully, the best example being in Moonstruck, so one has to admire her...a little.
Tatu Toe
Toe Factor: 20 (Two 10's... What cold war?)
Seen: Making lesbianism cool at the MTV Movie Awards
For those of you that missed the MTV Movie Awards (as if you had better things to do), Tatu stole the show. They came prancing out with about 200 hotties in underwear. Every male in the building was drooling. But this performance was the musical equivalent of a medium rare filet mignon walking through a vegetarian restaurant. Everyone wants it. But they cant have it. (We are going to get 100 emails from righteous veggie dorks claiming they truly prefer tofu....save it). Any band that flaunts the Toe and wears knee pads like Tatu deserves our respect. And somehow, the fact that they don't like us back makes them even more appealing. Come to think of it, I still dont understand why all women aren't lesbians. Think about what your 3 best male friends look like naked. See what I mean?
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Stroelling Toe
At first glance, it's just another hot chick in a magenta leopard-print belly shirt, tight jeans and hooker shoes. But look closer (as if you need encouragement), and behold: UTOEPIA.
San AnTOEnio
Seth is a simple man with simple needs. He lives in Texas, and loves to sample the casinos just over the border in Louisiana. After years of wistfully flipping through the catalogs, he took his bonus from EDS and bought hisself the finest pontoon boat $6,500 can buy. And goddamn if it don't reel in the honeys.
German Farmer Toe
Here we see a picture taken from a website selling thongs to German farmers. What... you didn't know thongs were an essential part of a farmer's attire?