WKRP in Cincinnatoe

Toe Factor: 14 (two 7s)
Seen: In Herb Tarlek's dreams

Once again, more empirical evidence that the 70s was the best decade for Toes. Here we see Loni Anderson (Jennifer) and Jan Smithers (Bailey) from "WKRP in Cincinnati." Before we get started, did you know that when you fly to Cincinnati, the airport is in Kentucky? That can be an unexpected trip to the deep south for those expecting a more Cleveland/Pittsburgh mullet/coal miner kind of vibe.

Andy and Herb should have spent more time hitting on Bailey, who practically invented the hot librarian look. With Loni it's a lock that the cuffs don't match the collar. Anyone that scored with her found what looked like Venus Flytrap's afro dwelling inside her underwear (where do you think Burt Reynolds got his first toupee?). Jan Smithers was married to James Brolin, who later downgraded to Barbra Streisand, one of the worst people on earth. We at the Toe love Bailey.

Cheri O

Cheri O'Teri is hilarious. Her work with Will Ferrell on SNL was genius and the show has gone down the tubes since they left. Here we see Cheri going into the "Dumb and Dumberer" premiere in Hollywood. In LA, it is not difficult to spot the drug dealers, due to their jackets which indicate the drug they are currently packing. Just out of the picture is the guy with the "Viagra" jacket for the studio execs and the guy with the "Maalox" jacket to help viewers keep from vomiting after that crap movie. Such a tragedy to have a sequel to a classic like "Dumb and Dumber" suck like that. Top 5 worst sequels: 1) Godfather 3 (unforgiveable example of nepotism). 2) Another 48 Hours (just the idea of it). 3) Speed 2 (a cruise ship? Are you serious? Why not a giant snail?) 4) Analyze That (ok..we got it). 5) Star Wars Episode 1, the Phantom Menace (miserable... Jar Jar?... for the love of pete!).

Fast Toes at Ridgemont High

Toe Factor: 8 (it's just a way of looking at that toe and saying, "hey bud, let's party")
Babe Factor: 10 (let's keep the focus on Phoebe)

Well, alright Hamilton! We all know Judge Reinhold's verdict here: GUILTY of TOE in the FIRST DEGREE. We here at the CTR affirm the lower court's decision unanimously. Phoebe made every male born between 1964 and 1971 to a family that kept Vaseline or Lubriderm under the bathroom sink get better acquainted with "Mr. Hand". I'd pay Dimone whatever he asked if he were scalping tickets to a Phoebe Cates Toe Exhibition circa 1982. We don't mean to disrespect JJL, but let's face it...anyone that Ratner can get isn't worthy of too much discussion on a website as cheesy and prurient as ours, no matter how good of an actress she is. BTW, Phoebe still looks great, as anyone who has seen The Anniversary Party surely knows.

Live Through This Toe

Toe Factor: 7 (well mounded)

Did you know that being the heir to the Nirvana fortune gives one carte blanche to act like an ass? Whether during an interview, or in First Class on a Virgin Atlantic flight, or at an awards ceremony... you can be an idiot virtually anywhere. Here we see probably an older (I'd guess circa 1997) picture of Ms. Love, probably snapped sometime before her brief period of respectability -- when she wore a lot of Versace (those dirtball grunge fans must have felt so betrayed!) -- but after she was a Heroin-using pregnant mother-to-be. Cobain wouldn't have aged well, so for the sake of his legacy and record sales it's good that he went to that big crack den in the sky. The downside of his death for the rest of us was the increased popularity of that self-pitying Seattle flannel-shirt-wearin' grunge aesthetic. But here at the toe we have to give props where they're due... Hole's "Live Through This"… is a pretty good album.