 |
Cameltoe Male Movie Stars
 |
|
Enjoy my junk
Toe Factor: 9
Seen at: Burger King
Favorite Band: Sly and the Family Stone
There's no way that Sam doesn't know that his duffel bag is showing through his fine linen pants; hence that smug, confident smile which says "enjoy my junk, share it with your friends and family". I guess the "L" in Samuel L. Jackson stands for "Lumber". Stellar testicular separation and bonus points for allowing us to know that his unit is draped down his right leg. This cassanova is giving the ladies a fullblown visage of his very own Royale with Cheese.
Humphrey Toegart
Toe Factor: 6
Suspected Wedgie Factor: 10
Could you imagine one of today's leading actors in a speedo and flippers, poolside at the Peninsula in LA? Humphrey's got it so wrong in so many ways here. Perhaps that's the charm... such a fine line between "cool" and "un-cool".
Pitt
Toe Factor: 7
Ego Factor : 10
Brad Pitt is Robert Redford sans the Mike Schmidt dermatological topography (for those of you under 30, visit the Philadelphia Phillies website to understand this reference. Pitt is a great actor: Fight Club, True Romance, 12 Monkeys, A River Runs Through It. The Mexican (just seeing if you were paying attention). That said, he doesn’t seem to deserve the huge paychecks because his movies never seem to get big box office numbers, at least relative to their budgets ("Troy"). Every flight that I’ve taken the last two weeks I’ve read the usual ‘travel magazines’ (US, People, Star, InTouch) and apparently Brad wants a baby but Jen wants to work. I hope they work it out because the world cannot take Bruce Almighty 2.
Magnum Pee Eye
Toe Factor: 5
Selleck is the Chairman Emeritus of the Cameltoe Society. He, I think, inspired the popularity of Hobie and O.P. (the corduroy variety) shorts in the early and mid-80s which vivisected millions of nads and made the scrotums of many men a matter of public record. Magnum was a great show, and really, it still is; it passes the test of time like few others from that era -- Thank you Donald P. Bellisario for your contribution. There's a less hairy version of Magnum named Michael Bromley in Miami Beach who loves to wear short-shorts (almost Daisy Dukes, really), into which he tucks a freshly-ironed cotton or linen short-sleeved shirt. Naturally, he also makes a thick belt part of his ensemble. He's straight, and has only seen Chicago once (so he says) and is genuinely puzzled when people find him an odd combination of Magnum P.I and Felix Unger and just assume his business partner is more than just a work colleague. That is nothing but a digression, sorry. Anyway, Selleck's toes are great, and really Higgins, T.C. and Rick sported outstanding toe throughout the five-year run of the show as well.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
"Toe Canada" (sung to "Oh Canada")
I'm glad that NAFTA included Canada... that way this beauty can enter the country without paying a Toeriff. It's about time Canada started stepping up their game...
Picnic Toe
Why do women love picnics so much? Donna decided that she and Randy should spend Saturday sitting on Mom's quilt near the Lincoln Memorial. Randy's friends are at Champions sportsbar watching the NBA playoffs.
Midlife Crisis Toe
Here we see a photo of Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry attempting to show us that he shreds hardcore. This photo is further proof that every candidate is lying to you all the time. We here at the Toe try to remain above the fray when it comes to politics.