 |
Members login
Cameltoe Shop
Cameltoe Just Wrong
Piece of Human Garbage Toe
Toe Factor: 7
# of States he is Wanted by the law: 9
Favorite Lobbying Organization: NAMBLA
If you ever see a guy that looks like this, don't say anything. Just beat his ass. Trust me. He is guilty of something.
Bolinas Toe
Toe Factor: 6
Stench: Unbearable
Pathetic Politically Correct Utterances: Ubiquitous
There are so many reasons to have disdain for the SF Bay Area -- and i'm certain that these two are from there -- or aspire to move there after working a few years up in Humboldt County. Sideways rain, fog over the city like that filthy cloud over Pigpen from Peanuts, Nasdaq 1300, guys at your cookout named Jugadish Bandhole who have more than one cell phone attached to their belts, teams in gym class at Mount Tam high school being chosen based upon strict diversity guidelines, greed masquerading as change-the-world sanctimony, homelessness so rampant that even corners in the nicest neighborhoods overflow with the sweet smell of urine and you get hit up for change on your morning walk from the bed to the shower. I could list these until my fingers fall off. But let's get back to our heroes in this photo... a few thoughts: (1) I don't think this guy is all that big or strong... he's probably just 160 pounds but looks strong because he's wearing size Medium clothes that his mom bought him during a 1977 back to school sale at Ames... nice seagull pattern, though. (2) nice division of labor... she has all the luggage, he has a towel. (3) her purse contains: home-rolled cigarettes, two joints, a wallet with a check in it from the parents she claims to be rebelling against and a condom in a ziplock bag that these two use repeatedly to save money so their road trip can last even longer.
Fan Note: Turns out this is actually Alby Mangels and his girlfriend back in the late 70's/early 80's. Aussies are paying attention!
Miami Beach Toe
Toe Factor: what do YOU think? 10, of course
Seen: at Iron Works on Alton road, turning a ‘spot’ into a ‘teabag’
When I first saw this I didn’t realize that the dude was black, so the writeup was going to state that we have no problem at all with interracial dating... but are, and have always been, vehemently against "interspecies" dating. If he were not wearing a helmet I would suggest that a heavy object had recently landed on his head and made him confuse his hips and his shoulders while getting dressed this morning. So, really, unless he’s kidding and doing a very good job keeping a straight face there is no excuse. Could he perhaps live in the large pink building in the rear right of the picture that is called, of all things, PorTOEfino Tower?
Dot Commer
Toe Factor: 8
Value of options: $0.00
Years wasted working in Mountain View: 4
Alex decided to move to the Bay Area in early 2000. He got a great job at a dotcom company, and his signing bonus was almost enough to cover the purchase of these dotcom-era eyeglasses. These are nonprescription lenses, but the frames make him appear more intelligent and like a "value add" kind of guy, and that helps in business development. Alex is shrewd and was sure rents would continue to skyrocket, so he negotiated a multi-year lease on a studio in Russian Hill, thereby securing 700 square feet of living space for just under $4k/month for a 48-month period. How could he have known that three months later the world he just left a secure job to inhabit would change forever? After losing his job he stayed in SF (he had to stay to justify the rent, and the sublease opportunity would have gotten him only $2100/month) and surfed a variety of pointless jobs at companies with no reason to exist except for the cash they were given by investors in 1998. At each of the companies he structured a variety of partnerships, none of which created enough revenue to recoup the attorney fees associated with the arrangements. On weekends, he would bike to the depot in Mill Valley, where he would commiserate with the sanctimonious trust fund types who have "Free Tibet" stickers on their Range Rover HSEs. There, over a $5 currant scone and a $4 coffee he would work on his iMac crafting a letter to his boss back at Clorox in Cleveland about why he should take him back...something about learning more from failure than success. Anyway, it could be worse... at least he (apparently) has big lumber.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Kelly Ripa Toe
I don't know what is more remarkable: that Regis could replace Kathie Lee with someone even more banal and vapid or that he could do so and continue to stay on the air. Sometimes while channel-surfing I find myself rubbernecking on this show... and rubbernecking is exactly what it is.
David Lee Roth
So this is what it's come to. Perhaps the coolest glam rocker of all -- the guy who had more fun and hits and beaver in the 1980's than all the others combined -- now looks like Jeff Skilling in a wig at the 1999 Enron Halloween party.
Toe-Lympics
OK...the Toe-lympics are over. Thank god. Now we can finally return to that quality NBC programming like Fear Factor and Weakest Link. But they wouldnt let us go without one more night of punishment. They had to bring back the Child of Light.