Brooke Shields

What we see here is lots of Brooke Shields and no signs of panty shields. Her bathing suit looks like the jocks that Coolidge used to wear during the locker room scenes on The White Shadow.

American I-Toe

Here we have Justin, the ass-kissing runner-up from American Idol. Although the show was generally a trifling display of mediocrity, it still accomplished a lot.

Spicy toe specimen

This spicy toe specimen is in exquisite shape for someone who probably does a fair amount of partying. In fact, her complete lack of ____ (fill in degrading term for female belly here, like "gunt" or "traeberman") makes me wonder if this really is a woman.