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Cameltoe Women with Weird Toe's
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Freakish Toe
Toe Factor: Numbers cannot do it justice
Seen: In Biology books under "Pelvic Defects"
This guy in the foreground is a legend. He found himself in the park, staring down this ridiculous specimen, and knew what he had to do. So he pulled out his Nikon and recorded what can only be described as the Loch Ness Monster of Cameltoes. Many have heard of this rare beast. But few have been able to capture an image of it. The only problem is, we cannot tell whether it is a woman or a man. My instincts say man. But the waifish arms and bulging pelvis say woman. So I must insist that our mystery photographer with the abnormally large forehead solve this mystery for us. Please email us the story behind your sighting. There will be no money. But on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness. So you got that going for you... which is nice.
Thankful Toe
Toe Factor: 6 C
ustomer Satisfaction: 10
No, this woman is not jumping because she was short Nortel stock since March 2000. Nor is she jumping because she just won a lifetime supply of cable knit sweaters from LL Bean as part of a contest. She's not jumping because she just claimed $5 million from the State Department for catching Osama Bin Laden and keeping him tied up in her basement. She's smiling because The Cameltoe Report just decided to sell great looking hats on their site and now she knows what to get her loved ones for the holidays and their birthdays. Wanna feel this good? Buy stuff from our site.
Bebe Toe
Toe Factor: 4 (but we love that it was spotted)
Seen: Malls, wedged between Ann Taylor and Origins
Bebe (pronounced beebee... not baybay… Pawty) is what mall girls wear when they have graduated from The Limited, but are not rich enough for Dolce & Gabbana. They like Abercrombie, but everyone else is like totally wearing it already (curl lip upward). My lady friends tell me -- what... I have lady friends -- that Bebe stuff looks sexy for one night, and then you never wear it again because it is poorly made and so trendy that by the following week, it is already out. But having just looked over their financial statements on their website, they appear to be doing adequately. While impressed with the cash accumulation on the balance sheet and the same store sales, I can't help but notice the increase in both near term and long term debt. As we all know, leverage and retail is as unhealthy a combination as cigarettes and fisting. But I digress. To the window dresser, we salute you. Toe sells clothing. Nice work.
Toega
Toe Factor: 8
It's hard to know if yoga is here to stay or here but soon to go away. It's been big before -- George Harrison probably was the first purveyor of 'yoga chic' -- but then it was replaced by aerobics or taebo or the George Foreman Grill or whatever the fitness flavor of the month happens to be. I don't even know if it's an exercise, meditation or just a branded look. In LA it's for Westside women grappling with the crippling combination of free-time and affluenza and the men (usually 3 per class during 'business hours') who prey on them. I have known lots of people from India and none of them do Yoga... they seem far more interested in their Blackberry and cell phone dangling in a most uncool manner from their belts. Now that Madonna is a British Kaballah follower rather than a shanti-chanting yogi perhaps it will start to fade. Personally, I think the stretching and time to think is great, but I don't want sanctimony or hallmark-calibre cliche spirituality delivered to me by a high school dropout.
Camel Toe Girls
Featured Articles
Buffy Toe
Sarah Michelle Gellar is excellent. We all like to pretend we havent seen her films ("Scream 2", "I Know What Camp You Attended Last Summer", etc) cause they are generally frivolous, and by watching them, we reveal our own frivolity. Wasn't that deep?
Panama Toe
It is difficult to believe that the same country that produced General Manuel Noriega produced this woman. He looked like Craterface from "Grease 2" and this woman is slammin.
Seminole Toes
First off, let's just state the obvious: it's an outrage and a gaping oversight that Florida State isn't in the Ivy League.